How Custody Arrangements Can Affect Your Children

How does your custody arrangements work for you, your ex, and your kiddos? Custody arrangements for divorced families can be very, very complicated. How your custody arrangements can mess your kids up is why we are here.

When you decide you want a divorce, you probably have an idea of how you want custody to be, or what that looks like to you. It always looks good on paper. Reality can look A LOT different though.

There’s many options for custody arrangements, right? Most couples that end up in divorce have joint custody. Where the children are split 50% of the time with each parent. Our goal as a parent is to provide a stable, loving environment for our kids. When there is two capable, loving parents each parent wants their kids just as much as the other parent. Unless there are factors where children have to be solely with one parent over the other, joint custody is always the way to go.

What does that look like? There’s many options for joint custody but you have to do what’s best for your kids first and foremost. Some people follow a schedule of 2 nights a moms, 2 nights at dad, with a weekend rotation. The most common arrangement is a 5-2 schedule. 5 nights with mom, 2 nights with dad, then 2 nights with mom, then 5 nights with dad, then it flips. The end goal is to not have your kids always wondering which house their going to be at. The schedule should be easy enough to where if your kids are at least 10 yrs old, they know the schedule and when their with mom and dad.

HERE IS WHERE THINGS CAN GET DICEY FOR YOUR KIDS.

Your children didn’t get a choice in your divorce did they? You and your spouse chose to get divorced for whatever the reason and your kids just had to accept it and deal with it. Do you ever stop to think about how your kids feel, that when you have them you would rather not have them? Or do you actually think they don’t notice?

If you think your kids don’t pick up on your phone calls of trying to switch days, or trying to get someone to watch them, your not that smart. I’m so sorry on the Saturday night you have your kids you have to stay home and actually like do something with them. I mean what are you 15, and sad you can’t go to the best party of the month and your going to miss out on the best night ever if you don’t go? Excuse me while I laugh my ass off. Now, I get it, things come up. There are those one off, and I mean one off, events. Obviously, I’m not referring to a police officer that got called into work, or something serious with a particular situation. I’m strictly referring to parents that don’t stick to their custody arrangements.

When I have my kids, I HAVE MY KIDS. Pawning them off on other people so I can have a personal life isn’t what’s important to me. I mean why bother having kids then? What because your divorced and single now, you need to have a personal life and go out with your friends? You need a reality check. When you don’t have them that’s when you get to enjoy your personal time to do the things you want to do. If you want to have fun and go out every night you don’t have them knock yourself out. But when you do have them, have them.

If you need help with your specific situation or need advice email me or bring it to the forum at, “Ask Jen”.