Balancing Love

Can You Mend A Broken Heart?

Can you mend a broken heart?

Let me start off by saying, “I’m so sorry your heart has been broken”. There’s no other way to slice it than, it’s horrible!! Almost everyone has had their heart broken in some way at some point in their lifetime. The good thing though is, I truly believe you can mend a broken heart, but it is up to YOU. It is YOU’RE heart that’s broken, so YOU are in control of what happens to it. No one can mend it for you, that would be too easy. I know people like to say, I met this guy, or I found the love of my life and she fixed my broken heart, that’s false, not true in my opinion. What happened was YOU allowed that person inside you’re heart, you opened yourself back up to letting someone love you, and your heart mended itself. Butttttt, it takes time. Time heals all wounds. You will know when your ready. It might take months or years even, depending on how badly you’re heart is broken. You might need to seek professional help, and if so that’s ok. I personally think we all need to seek professional help for something or another.

I know several men and women that say, “My heart will forever be broken and I will never allow myself to love like that happen again”. If you feel that way then you are only hurting yourself, selling yourself short, and quite frankly, I think that’s an immature way of thinking. I’m here to tell you you are acting like a baby so stop.

No one really wants be alone. You can try to sell yourself on that idea but you’re only fooling you. We all want to share our lives with someone in some capacity. Why be with someone to not really love them with all your heart? I mean what, do you love them with 40% of your heart? What’s the point? Are you that scorned from an ex and don’t want to open yourself up to letting someone in to possibly break your heart again? Possibly, but why though? Have you figured that piece out yet?

I want you to trust the process of healing. Even though your heart has been broken by someone, I’m sure in some way you still love that person, and that’s ok. My heart was broken by two people. I still love them to some degree. I love them for all the good they were and all the lessons I learned from them. Knowing how I am as a person, being able to admit I still love them in a different capacity than I did, is what has allowed me to let love back in. I don’t let hate or anger in my heart. It makes me resentful and not capable of loving, and I don’t want that. Each time you fall in love with someone the heartbreak from someone previous lessens. Your new love holds center stage in your heart, if you let them that is.

So here’s what I want you to do. Think about your heart break, why did your heart get broken?

  1. Did that person pass away? If so, would they want you to spend your life sad and broken without them? No they wouldn’t. They would want you to be happy, happy you’re sharing your life with someone. Their memories will life in your mind and your heart forever.
  2. Did your partner cheat on you? If so, I get it, it happens to all of us. You can’t control other people and what they do. What you are in control of is what you decide to do moving forward. Don’t allow them to hold that space in your heart, they don’t deserve to be there. See I appreciate being cheated on. The sooner I find out the better, I mean yes, you are embarrassed especially if other people know and you didn’t, but their the asshole for doing it. Finding out now is better so you can get them out of your life ASAP and move on. I promise there’s someone that will love you so unconditionally they wouldn’t ever dream of cheating on you and breaking your heart.
  3. Are you a victim of physical or verbal abuse? You know what your partner did or is doing is wrong, but you allowed it out of fear, which I completely get. You won’t heal from that until you seek professional help. Chances are you will continue the cycle in some capacity with another person that will abuse you in some way. You need to get to the root cause of why you allowed the abuse, so you can move forward in your life in a healthy way.

Need more specific advice, click on “Ask Jen” and put your question in the forum.

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