Will My Marriage Change After We Have A Baby?

Jennifer Lee Woods August 21, 2020 Marriage 441 Comments

If you are reading this, you are either pregnant or thinking about starting a family. You’ve probably been married for a little bit, having fun with your spouse, traveling, living the life, and BOOM! You find out you are pregnant, or your spouse says, “Honey, I’m ready let’s make a baby.” You are wondering if your marriage will change after you have a baby?

I got pregnant on my honeymoon! Haha. I was okay with it because my ex-husband and I traveled, went out, we had our fun for 5 years before we got married. I always tell newlyweds, especially ones that haven’t dated for a few years before they got married, not to get pregnant right away, enjoy yourselves for a bit. All married couples wonder, “Will my marriage change after we have a baby?”

It is important to enjoy being married for a while. Do some things you always wanted to do before you start a family. Because yes, your life will change after you have a baby. Things will be different. From the woman’s perspective, your body changes so fast, and you have no control over anything, really. The baby growing inside you owns you. Your time is spent in the doctor’s office, you are changing your house to fit your baby, you’re decorating your baby’s new room, and so much more. You might not be that interested in having sex with your spouse because you feel insecure about your body. They are all normal things.

I have 3 children, and I hated being pregnant. The only part I liked was feeling the baby move. I always had anxiety if I didn’t feel them moving 10x a day. What was worse was the 3-6 months after I had the baby, but that’s another post. You can’t just run out and go to the gym or store. Now you will have to get the baby ready with a diaper bag filled with diapers, food, and clothes.

Yes, your marriage will change somewhat after you have children. But what’s crucial is communication with your partner. You can’t over-communicate when it comes to this. As women, we don’t want our spouse to know we don’t feel sexy anymore. We’re afraid to say it out loud. However, truthfully, , you still are sexy to them and possibly even more when you’re pregnant, you’re carrying their baby inside you. Men don’t know what it’s like to be pregnant, so they can only go by what we share with them. If we don’t share thoughts, feelings, insecurities with them they won’t get it.

Starting with your first trimester, you’re probably going to feel nauseous 90% of the day. The second trimester gets so much better, and your sex drive comes back. In the third trimester, you are uncomfortable, can’t sleep at night, and just want it over.

My point is that yes, your marriage will change, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It’s a new chapter in your marriage book. You are starting your little family. Your priorities change, but my one piece of advice in this post is once you do start a family, you can’t drop your spouse. Men you have to still focus on your wife, she needs you and your attention and love now more than ever. Ladies, your husband needs to know you love them as much as your new born baby. Yes, your baby is your baby, and both of you are now responsible for someone else. But, remember your on the road together, driving in the same car. If you have a true partner that is invested in you, your marriage, and your new family, your about to go on the best road trip of your lives.

Do you have some specific questions about this topic? Bring it to the forum at “Ask Jen”.

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